


These Days are Precious

by SnowboundWanderer



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Past Character Death, Post-Campaign 1 (Critical Role), Sexual References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 05:12:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18067235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowboundWanderer/pseuds/SnowboundWanderer
Summary: Keyleth knows that Vex’s time is short: another reminder of how her long life has proven more a curse than a blessing. Still, even in the face of death, there are cherished memories to be made.





	These Days are Precious

Keyleth sighed as she emerged from the Sun Tree into the center of Whitestone. It had been far too long since she had set foot in the town (‘ _a year and a half’,_ her treacherous mind reminded her.) She pushed the self-recriminations aside for now, there were far more pressing matters that could not afford her wallowing in guilt. In her many past visits to Whitestone she had walked up to the castle to have herself formally announced, but today she found herself immediately shifting into the form of a raven (which at some point become her default choice when needing to fly, though she didn’t like to ruminate on that point) and flying straight to the castle.

Shifting back into her half-elf form after landing on an upper balcony, Keyleth carefully opened the door that led to Vex’ahila’s room. She was immediately hit with the strong smell of lavender and sandalwood, enough for her to assume that quite a bit of incense had been burning. Otherwise, the vast and elaborate room remained much as Keyleth had remembered it: grey walls covered with banners, a large fireplace with dying embers behind a large desk, a large door to the main hallway on the far side with the Whitestone crest carved in it, many bookshelves, and vast ceilings that were nearly 30 feet high. Unbidden, Keyleth’s mind projected an image of Vex gently flying near the top of the ceiling with cheering toddlers securely pressed against her.

“Really, Keyleth dear, you could knock if you’re going to come in through my balcony.”

Keyleth jumped and spun towards the outside wall, where Vex’s ornate bed rested. In it was Vex, layered in blankets and propped up on many pillows, smiling at her. In stark contrast to the Vex Keyleth had remembered riding the broom, the current version had hair as white as Percy’s had been, and her formally athletic body had become wrinkled and frail. Her eyes were still sharp though, and the grin on her face told Keyleth that Vex’s mind was still fully there.

“Sorry, sorry…I just…I’ve left Pike and Sariel waiting for me in the main hall, haven’t I?”

“Indeed you have,” Vex confirmed, clearly amused. “I’ll call a servant to send word to them at some point. Would you mind looking at the fire, dear? I really don’t want to get out from these blankets.”

“Of course,” Keyleth replied, muttering a cantrip and causing the fire to roar back to life. She turned her attention back to the bed, and saw Vex pat the edge of it. Keyleth took the invitation and sat down, gently clasping Vex’s hand.

“You must tell me how you’ve been darling. I heard a rumor that you’d actually taken a lover, is it true?”

Keyleth felt shame burning at her face. “It was true, yes.”

A frown appeared on Vex’s face, but Keyleth waved her hand and Vex seemed to drop it. They’d had this discussion before, about how _you’re not cheating on my brother’s memory_ and so on, and it wouldn’t change anything to have it again.

“It was a human man, only lasted a few months. It was mostly just…physical to be honest,” Keyleth admitted, shrugging her shoulders and sighing. “I think that’s what ruined it, I tried to force things…and you know I’m not like you, or most people even. I can’t really…get into it if I don’t already care about them. I guess I just hoped I could…well whatever I was hoping it didn’t work.”

“Oh Keyleth,” Vex said with an affection Keyleth wasn’t keen on at the moment. “Are you alright, darling?”

“Yeah, guess I learned some more things about myself, that’s good, right?” Keyleth said, arms gesturing out to nothing in particular. “Besides, the sex was still…good. Got some physical relief at least, and we experimented a bit.”

“He delved into all of your dungeons, you mean,” Vex said, grinning and giving Keyleth a wink. “What?” she said in response to the heat that had engulfed Keyleth’s cheeks. “Vax never hid that he’d been with men before, what do you think that involved?”

“Vax and I did…nope, not having this conversation,” Keyleth said, looking at anything but Vex. She heard Vex laugh, which ended in a cough.

“Fine, fine… you know I’m having to live vicariously through you, darling. I haven’t been properly shagged in almost 80 years.”

Keyleth blushed heavily, but she also felt the familiar stab of guilt at Vex’s words. She could hear Vex’s sigh and felt a hand weakly grip her shoulder. Keyleth grabbed it, squeezing as gently as she could.

“You’re like Sariel sometimes,” Vex began gently. “Always thinking taking someone else as a lover is like spitting at me. It does get a bit tiresome.”

“Really? Is that why she hasn’t gotten remarried?” Keyleth asked in surprise. “She’s worried you’ll be hurt if you see her with someone other than Percy? Percy the IV, I mean,” she quickly added.

Vex chuckled slightly. “No need to clarify, but yes, at least partly. It helps that she’s elven and still has 500 years or so. I was already getting old when Percy passed, my need for company had slowed a bit by then. Besides,” she said, getting a mischievous look in her eye that made Keyleth nervous. “Percy made some absolutely _wonderful_ inventions of a more…personal nature that kept me sated. It wasn’t all clocks.”

“Oh gods stop,” Keyleth said in a childish tone, covering her face and her blush.

“One of my granddaughters started making cheaper versions and marketing them, you should get some dear,” Vex said grinning. The grin slowly faded and became more somber as she regarded Keyleth. “But seriously Keyleth, you need to stop looking at me as the example for fidelity. You have needs, physical and emotional, don’t be ashamed of them.”

“We’ve had this talk before,” Keyleth said weakly, not prepared to offer a rebuttal.

“And I’ll happily get in one more dear, I won’t be around to get more in much longer.”

 _‘Ah yes,’_ Keyleth though as she stiffened, _‘the whole reason I came here in the first place.’_ She turned to look Vex eye-to-eye. Her face looked resigned, but also peaceful. Keyleth had an unwelcome memory of Percy’s face before Ripley killed him.

“How long does Pike think you have?” Keyleth asked, voice wavering.

Vex looked down at her nails casually, as if inspecting them for dirt. “Maybe six months if I’m stubborn. I’ll admit to not feeling particularly stubborn though.”

“What?” Keyleth said, voice raised in alarm. “Why?”

Vex sighed. “Come lie down, Keyleth,” she said, reaching out and patting the empty half on the opposite side of the mattress. Keyleth carefully crawled over Vex and settled down on the pillows there. Vex immediately cuddled up to her as much as the blankets allowed her, resting her head on Keyleth’s shoulder.

“I’m an old lady, Keyleth,” Vex said. “I can walk about 100 feet before I collapse from the effort. My stomach can’t handle most of the fancy meals I used to love, and I nap constantly.” She paused briefly, looking up at Keyleth’s face before she continued. "I can’t get down to the forests or even the small parks anymore, and I had to have the books I’m still hoping to read moved in here since stairs are now even harder than doors used to be for us,” she snorted. “Besides, I’m looking forward to seeing Vax and Grog and Percy again. And my children.”

Vex’s voice cracked on the last one, and Keyleth quickly began to make what she hoped were soothing motions along Vex’s skin. Losing Vax and Percy had been hard, so hard, but the children…Vex and Percy’s five children had all had long, full, and happy lives, and had all married and made many wonderful children of their own, but they’d gotten the short end of the stick in the lifespan gap between humans and half-elves. Outliving all of her children had unquestionably scarred Vex in a way the other losses hadn’t, no matter how she tried to hide it. Keyleth knew she couldn’t comprehend it, and felt herself scrambling to remember what she’d said about it before.

“I know it hurts, but you’ve been able to watch the family tree grow, and when you go and meet them, you’ll be able to tell them all about what their kids and grandkids have been up to.”

Vex chuckled weakly. “I remember you saying that after Elaina passed. It is comforting, believe me, but have you seen the de Rolo family tree lately? There’s a pretty recent copy on my desk over there, and by the gods if I can remember the names of all my great-grandchildren, let alone the great-great-grandchildren. I think I even have great times three children now.” Vex laughed weakly before a sadness overtook her face. “These people are my blood, my legacy. Pike says my mind’ll stay sharp until the end, not like Grog, but seeing children come and visit me and and knowing they’re my legacy but having no clue how they’re related to me…”

Keyleth sighed and her hands began making gentle rubbing motions on Vex’s skin, as her mind pondered their late Goliath friend. His last few months of not being to remember his family or adventures without Pike’s restoration spells had been hard (especially since, as Keyleth would sometimes think while in her cups, she felt like forgetting everyone she’d lost once the rest of her friends passed could be a blessing). Trying to distract herself from that line of thought, she looked over to the desk and used her powers to cause a large piece of paper to fly towards her. Pleased that she grabbed the family tree on the first try, she spent the next several minutes reading it, while Vex looked at her inquisitively.

“Yeah,” Keyleth said as she tossed the paper off the bed and hearing the wooden rollers thunk against the stone, “your age and mental capacity definitely not the issue here.”

Vex laughed, and Keyleth glanced over to see a genuine look of relief on her fellow half-elf’s face. “Thank you darling, you don’t know what that means.” She went silent after that, regarding Keyleth with an eye as sharp as it had been when she’d draw back her bow on some unfortunate target. Keyleth found herself looking away nervously. “Talk to me, Keyleth dear, I know this can’t be easy for you.”

Keyleth looked down at her lap, nervously flexing the fingers of her free hand. “Is it kind of fucked up to admit that I’m…envious of you?”

Vex was silent for several seconds, causing Keyleth to look over and catch Vex staring at her intently, an this time Keyleth found the strength to not look away. “It is a little dear,” Vex began. “It’s only by the grace of Pelor that his champion won’t be needing a diaper for her last few months…probably.”

“Well, no, I’m not envious of _that,_ ” Keyleth clarified before looking back down. “It’s…I shouldn’t be taking up your time like this by being selfish about my problems.”

“I’m dying, Keyleth,” Vex said matter-of-factly, and Keyleth could feel the beginning of tears stinging her eyes. “There’s nothing anyone can do to change that. I’d rather spend what time I have left helping the people I love.”

Keyleth felt the tears start to fall. “Everyone I’ve loved is going away. Not just Vox Machina, but my father, Kima, Gilmore, Allura, Kerrek, Kashaw, so many others, they’re all already dead, and once you go, it’s just going to be me and Pike and Scanlan, and even they only have two or three centuries left. After that…I’ll be alone. And I know that we’ve had this talk many times before, but now that it’s actually happening...”

Vex said nothing, but Keyleth felt one of her hands start to rub the back of her neck while the other attempted to lift the blankets she was under. Taking the hint, Keyleth grabbed the blankets herself and moved her feet so she could get under the blankets herself. She pushed as close as she could to Vex, relishing the more direct contact with her.

“And…” Keyleth began, choking on her words before restarting, “and I’m scared, because after that I still have what, 500 years? Am I just going keep spending time alone until I get so lonely I try to force some sort of relationship and it ends in disaster like the one I mentioned earlier? And, and…” Keyleth trailed off, too afraid to continue.

“And what, dear, please tell me,” Vex said earnestly, wrapping her arms around Keyleth.

Keyleth was quiet for several seconds before she mustered the courage. “Do you remember Sprigg?” Feeling Vex nod against her, she continued, “just a few decades alone drove him mad. I’m going to have to endure _centuries._ What if…what if during that something inside me snaps? What if I do something or become someone that once I finally join the rest of you, none of you will be able to love me?”

 _“Oh Keyleth,”_ Vex said brokenly, and Keyleth could feel both her and Vex starting to shed tears. Vex drew Keyleth’s face into her shoulder, and Keyleth didn’t bother to hold back.

“Please don’t go Vex, please don’t go,” Keyleth got out between her sobs. She knew she sounded broken and childish against a tide that had already proven many times over to be unstoppable, but she didn’t care.

“Kiki darling, I need to you look and listen to me very carefully, okay?” Vex asked, putting one of her hands under Keyleth’s chin and pulling upwards. Keyleth let face be drawn up and looked into Vex’s teary eyes before nodding slowly in response to her question. “Even though you’ll be the last one here on this plane, you will _never_ be alone. And we’re fucking Vox Machina, if you think death or the Raven Queen or whoever would be enough to stop us from making sure you didn’t fall, you’re very much mistaken, dear.”

Keyleth let out a surprised laugh before moving to embrace Vex again. A few minutes later, they’d maneuvered so that Vex’s head was resting against Keyleth’s bosom. Keyleth could tell that the conversation had taken a toll on Vex, who now looked very tired. She began gently raking her fingers through Vex’s hair.

“Are you in any pain?” Keyleth asked.

“No dear,” Vex said calmly, moving her head to give Keyleth more room to play with her hair. “Pike thinks I’m going to be the same stubborn woman until one night I go to sleep and don’t wake up.”

“The incense?”

“They thought it’d help me relax. I was actually hoping I could take advantage of your druidic knowledge on this front. When Vax and I were by ourselves, I always found spending time in the forest the best way to feel at peace. Would you be able to use your skills to make the room smell more…earthy?”

“I can do that,” Keyleth agreed without hesitation. “And…are you scared?”

“Yes,” Vex responded after a few seconds. “Scared that Percy and Vax and the others won’t be there, scared for the people I’m leaving, and that my bloody descendants will drown Whitestone in blood the second I’m buried.”

“That won’t happen,” Keyleth said with force. “I won’t let everything you and Percy built be destroyed.”

“Thank you dear,” Vex responded, and Keyleth could see the gratefulness in her eyes. “But don’t get your people involved in a war because two of my great-grandchildren decided to be bloody idiots.”

“Don’t worry,” Keyleth replied gently. “Now get some rest, you’ve earned it.” Vex mumbled something Keyleth couldn’t make out, before her head nestled deeper into Keyleth’s bosom. A few minutes later she felt Vex’s breathing relax, and she found herself drifting off not long after.

—————————

Keyleth figured it had been maybe an hour before she was woken to Pike and Vex’s daughter-in-law opening the door to the room they were in. Thankfully they didn’t seem too annoyed by Keyleth standing them up. Vex had woken shortly after, and went off with the other two over the ‘nonsense of elder’s calisthenics’, whatever that meant. Keyleth spent the rest of the day busying herself with the task Vex had given her, and as everyone convened on the balcony outside Vex’s room to watch the sunset, she was pleased with her results.

“The room smells marvelous darling, I can’t thank you enough,” Vex said, lounging in her chair and finishing the last few drops of wine in her glass. “It really takes me back, makes me feel like I could be climbing trees again.”

“I might be able to help with that,” Keyleth answered quickly, before pausing to consider. “Pike wouldn’t like that though.”

“No she wouldn’t,” Vex agreed. “Do you know what else she wouldn’t like? You getting me another glass of wine.”

“She said you shouldn’t-”

“Please, darling,” Vex said, and Keyleth looked to see the salacious grin on her face. Unable to find the power to resist, she took Vex’s wineglass and began to slink towards the bottle, keeping her eye on Pike, who was teasing Scanlan as he tried to re-tune the lute he had been playing for them all earlier. On the far side Sariel and one of her younger children were chatting, tuned out from the rest of them for the time being.

Keyleth got her hand onto the bottle before a loud throat clearing had her dart her head up to see Pike giving her the same ‘mom glare’ that she’d used to give Grog. Embarrassed, Keyleth found herself putting down both bottle and glass and returning to Vex, who gave Pike the finger before setting eyes on Keyleth.

“Oh well, nice try dear. Frankly, I don’t see why having an extra glass with friends should matter much to a dying woman.”

“She doesn’t want you go,” Keyleth said immediately. “At least, not any sooner than you have to.”

Vex’s face softened. “I know. Rest assured I’m not giving up right away. Velora should be here in a few days.”

“Oh, really?” Keyleth asked, intrigued. “I hear she’s become quite the adventurer herself.”

“Taking after her big siblings, much to Syldor’s chagrin,” Vex said grinning. “She’s certainly putting Fenthras to better use than I’d be right now,” she stared out at Whitestone for a few seconds. “It will be nice to hold them both again.” She turned her head to look back at Keyleth. “I do hope I’ll be seeing more of you these next few months.”

“I’m staying.”

“What?” Vex asked, clearly surprised.

“I sent a message back to Zephrah, I’ll be staying here until…you know,” Keyleth said, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ve lead for almost two centuries, and probably will for a few more, so I doubt the history books will note a six-month sabbatical. Besides, things will be fine without me for a few months. I’m sure you and Percy learned the value of a bureaucracy while ruling Whitestone.”

Vex laughed, and Keyleth could see genuine joy in her eyes. “That means so much, Keyleth, thank you. I expect you to help me climb a tree at some point.”

“Oh yeah,” Keyleth responded, grinning before she felt her face take a more serious tone. “I know what you said, about all of you crossing back from death to make sure I don’t lose myself. I think, maybe this is how you do it. The memories I have of all of you, and the ones we’re going to make, they’re more precious than anything on this plane. They’re what’s going to keep me sane.”

Keyleth felt Vex’s hand reach for hers and intwine them with all the strength her old bones could muster. She glanced down to Vex’s smiling face, and the blue, black, and white feathers tucked behind one ear. She smiled back, squeezing Vex's hand, and they both turned back to watch the evening take hold as Scanlan’s lute once again started to play soft melodies across the balcony.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I've only been actively following Critical Role since November and while I'm spoiled for campaign 1, I haven't gone through it yet beyond various clip videos and reading about the characters, and won't until I'm finally caught up to current dealings. Any inaccuracies with the characters can be attributed to that.


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